Yesterday and Today

I suppose I should say a little more about why I don't like pediatric medicine. It is not that I don't like children. In fact it is quite the opposite. The truth is that I have always loved children; their innocence, their purity.

Seeing people with illness, disease, and other difficult situations is hard but, unfortunately, it's just a part of life. Seeing children with illness, disease, and other difficult situations is hard but that is in no way a part of life. People live their lives, get older, get sick and die. When that happens to children it is devastating because they are cheated - they haven't gotten to live their lives yet. I've spent the last 3 years working with a population who often die. I've learned to understand it, to accept it, and at times appreciate it. I don't want to spend my life watching the pediatric population suffer. That's not to say that all health care situations end in death, because they don't, but I wasn't build to watch children suffer.

But, there is one beautiful aspect of pediatric medicine, maybe the most beautiful aspect of all medicine - that would have to be birth. That moment when one begins their journey.

I spent yesterday in the newborn nursery. My task was simple - hold whichever baby was crying, comfort it, wash my hands, and then pick up the next. It was truly a moving task. I held one baby and looked over at the name card on their crib and realized they weren't even 12 hours old yet. I acknowledged at that moment the sovereignty of life. What an honor to spend the first few moments of life with this child. As I held the different blessings in my arms I wanted and wished so much for them. I said small prayers to God for them. What an amazing gift it was. I then realized as I hoped so much for them how insignificant I am. As I stood there holding them and wanting so much for them I realized how truly powerless I was. As much as I wanted, there was truly nothing I could do to enhance or encourage these little people and their lives. All I can do is pray for them.

Today a lot of things occurred. I shall only focus on the afternoon though. This afternoon I gave a presentation, ironically on pediatric nutrition. Today I got to be a Registered Dietitian and give an hour long lecture to my peers and faculty. This was not an assignment, it was a request from a previous instructor I had. I had the most fun - something I have greatly needed for many weeks. I cracked jokes, fielded questions, and I was just overall awesome. One day, in some capacity, at some university, when the time is right, I will teach. I will be an amazing teacher and I will love it.