Bittersweet

There are consequences to every action. People often tend to think of consequences as something negative, but there are positive consequences too. Consequences are just the result of a decision we make or an action we commit. We can't always see the consequences that occur because of a choice we make and we don't always understand or even know how they impact other peoples lives. Consequences can often be life altering. We are often found to be victims of consequence and change. But those are the circumstances that make up life.

The past 18 months have produced a significant amount of changes in my life. I suppose I have fallen victim to consequence and circumstance. Ironically, the majority of the changes I have encountered which have so dramatically altered my life, were generated by those that surround me and not be me at all. It's amazing how other people can so significantly affect us.

Life altering events cause us to question - this is only natural. We question what the real meaning of life is. What's the purpose of it all? What is God's plan for me? Does God have a plan for me? Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing? Am I being who I am supposed to be?

In the past 18 months I have gained and I have lost. I have been blessed and I have grieved. I have felt full and I have felt significant lonliness. I feel I have found my purpose and yet I feel more lost than I ever have before.

It's funny to every think that one is in control of their own life.

This past weekend I traveled to Birmingham and watched one of my greatest friends get married. She was absolutely beautiful and I am so happy for her. She will stay in Birmingham and I will dearly miss her.

A couple of weeks ago I recieved a beautiful gift and I look forward to the joy she will bring.
A few weeks ago my little friend Haydn had her preschool graduation (she's still in preschool though).
A few weeks ago my twin moved to another state and took a part of me with her.

A month ago I learned of a friend's struggle that has left me confused and grieved.

Seven months ago I observed a most beautiful event. It is amazing to watch him grow.
Seven and a half months ago I participated in a close friends wedding. It was a true dream. She moved to Ohio and I dearly miss her. Eleven months ago I quit my job and started on a two year journey.

A year ago I recieved my second little friend and she has brought a smile to my heart.
15 months ago I learned I had been accepted to school and was excited and scared.

18 months ago I was on top of the world.
And there has been so much more. There is still so much more to come.