My little BFF

She says, “I’m her BFF”, and then she giggles. It makes my heart smile.

Haydn, is my oldest niece. And I so dearly dearly love her. I’m often asked if she’s my favorite. I find that question mildly offensive; I’m not going to choose any of them over another. So, the answer to that is no. I don’t have a favorite. I love each of the children (Haydn, Louise, Jonah, Ava, June, Sophia, Caroline, Sweet Nicholas, Baby 9, and Baby 10) as much as the other one, just differently.

I have loved Haydn longer. I have played with Haydn more. Life has afforded me an opportunity to invest more of myself, more of my time with her. We are sweet friends.

Haydn struggles. She has dyspraxia. I don’t completely understand that. I don’t really get it. This isn’t something however that’s wrong with her, it just something about her that’s different from most people. It means that she has a motor learning difficulty that can affect planning of movements and co-ordination as a result of brain messages not being accurately transmitted to the body. So, it doesn’t affect overall intelligence or ability, but just affects particular aspects of development; so she’s not stupid, slow, or autistic. She’s dyspraxic.

People see what they want to see. They hear what they want to hear. They conclude and decide what they want to. It is not my responsibility to raise Haydn, to make decisions for her, to train her up in the way she should go. My only responsibility to her is to love her, to support her, to be the BFF she believes me to be. I hope that I always meet her where she is and not demand that she be more than she can.

I stood right outside the hospital door the night she was born. I waited. I heard her first cry. I found tears streaming down my face. I had a niece. I had a little friend.

I hope that as she grows I’m the big friend that she wants and needs me to be.