Turning 40: Notes to My Younger Self. #26 Genderization

#26. Genderization

In the early 1900s baby boys were put in pink and baby girls were put in blue.

A 1918 article from Earnshaw’s Infants’ Department store read: "The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl."

Somewhere in time, that changed.

In the early to mid 1900s authors began to use testicles as a metaphor for courage.

“She needs to grow a pair!” or “He needs to find his balls!” are statements now commonly heard in reference to courage. Somehow, testicles became equated with courage. Does that mean that only men can be courageous?

There are significant differences between men and women. Differences that are not only found in anatomy but in other things.

But, it is hard to know sometimes when something is truly masculine or truly feminine when so much of gender identity is defined by culture.

Some other gender characteristics I have identified throughout life have had to do with food and colors and forks and clothes and items our culture has deemed masculine or feminine.

Often I would hear comments such as, “that’s women’s food”, “I don’t eat off of pink plates”, or “that stuff is for girls”. These comments made me feel that “women’s items” were bad, less than. It was as though the mere use of these items had the power to de-masculanize the user.

The idea of items being bad because of their associated gender, was just another instance in which I felt less than for being female.

The concept that a thing had the power to de-masculanize was confusing to me.

The truth though, my dear young self, is that all of that is lies. You cannot genderize colors or courage or food or inanimate objects. Just because our culture and environment deems something to be more masculine or more feminine does not make it so.

Knowing this leads to even greater confusion. Because if gender is not found necessarily in cultural norms or environment, then where is it found? What does it really mean to be masculine? What does it really mean to be feminine?

These are questions worth contemplating. But what I want you to know is that you are deeply loved as a woman of God, in whatever way you have learned to express your femininity. I also want you to know that while some people may feel threatened by inanimate objects and colors and clothes you do not have to fear, for God sees you by your heart and not by objects that surround you.