Turning 40: Notes to My Younger Self. #28 Maintaining Boundaries

#28. Maintaining Boundaries

I played basketball in high school. I loved it. I was not so good in games, but I loved practice and working out. I loved being part of a team.

Knowing the plays and the rules were vital. If you did not understand the rules, you could not play the game.

One of the main regulations of the game is staying in bounds.

This meant that you had to know where the boundaries were at all times. You had to play inside the boundaries. You had to live inside the boundaries.

Within the game of basketball, boundaries are easy to maintain.

Within life, not as easy.

I have not always set boundaries. I have not felt the need to set them.

But there are times that life will call for boundaries to be placed. Places and people and situations that you will need to have boundaries placed about them.

Not having navigated some aspects of life with boundaries means that I did not necessarily learn to stay in bounds. So, when new boundaries are placed it can be painful and devastating.

Not being able to relate as you had before can be confusing and hard, but mostly it just hurts.

My dear young self, some things in life will be harder than you ever knew. Working to be better and stronger will require boundaries that you never anticipated. You will hurt. It will be painful. You will desire to step over and across the line in an effort to retrieve a balm for the overwhelming pain you feel, but doing so will exacerbate the original insult and things will become harder than they were before.

Life is hard. Boundaries hurt. Maintaining boundaries is not easy. But you have to learn to live inside the boundaries. Hopefully, with time, you will.