Turning 40: Notes to My Younger Self. #8 Understanding How I Think and Feel

#8. Understanding How I Think and Feel

We enjoy learning about our self.

I would think most people enjoy understanding themselves better.

Years ago I learned about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. I learned that I was an ISTJ, known as the inspector or the logistician. This means I like to work by myself, I like facts, I am very logical, I like order and systems, I am reliable, I am dutiful, I uphold tradition, I am energized by time spent alone, I am calm, steady, stable, cautious, and conventional.

I found the MBTI fascinating because I felt like it was so accurate, but in truth I did not find it to be very insightful.

I was proud of the characteristics it cited and felt confident that it created a good portrayal of who I was.

I used it a great deal to compare and contrast myself with other people. How did we compliment, how did we differ, how can we improve our communication, etc. It is a useful tool.

Then, years later, I would hear people talk about the Enneagram. I would review the Enneagram and then wonder why anyone would need that when you had the MBTI. On first look I found it confusing and I was not interested.

But, in doing some research, I realized that the MBTI tell you how you think, but the Enneagram tells you how you feel.

As stated previously, we are much more of a thinker than we are a feeler. Staying in the head is so much more controlled and trusted than looking at the heart. Understanding my ISTJ nature, this makes sense.

So the idea of learning how I feel was daunting, yet exciting as well.

Now, every time I have taken the MBTI it has come out the same, but the Enneagram was a different story. I took the Enneagram five different times and came out with five different answers. It took a lot of reading and researching to finally understand what I was.

In the end, I found was that I am an Enneagram type 9 with a 1 wing. I am a peacemaker. I learned that I don’t like conflict and will do most anything to keep the peace, that I can become complacent and procrastinate. Ultimately the goal of a type 9 is for internal and external peace.

I had found the MBTI to be fascinating, but, in a short time, I have found my Enneagram typing to be so insightful that it has been life changing and life explaining. I understand more now about the box I have been in all my life than I ever have before. Life makes more sense than it ever has.

Understanding how I think and how I feel is so profoundly important. It helps me to navigate life a little more surely, understand my interaction with others better, and has the power to draw me closer to God.