Turning 40: Notes to My Younger Self. #33 Learning to Be Still

#33. Learning to Be Still

We read in the Psalms to "Be still". Other versions read to "Cease Striving".

I did not really understand what that meant for a long time.

I had always presumed it meant to physically be still and not move, to rest.

When I first got Ruthie in 2010, I was living in North Carolina and working my first Nurse Practitioner job. At that time, I worked 24 hour shifts and was often tired on my days off. Ruth was still very much a puppy and had a lot of energy. She needed a lot of attention.

In time, we made it our daily habit to go to the dog park.

We went every day that I was not working. It did not matter if it was raining or snowing or excessively hot. We went every day.

She would run and wrestle and dig holes.

I would go and sit and watch her play.

And sometimes she would just sit with me.

I learned to hear the birds and feel the breeze.

I learned to be still.

My dear young self, being still does mean to be physically still, but even more than that, it means to be mentally still. It is the act of letting go of worries and stressors and exhaustions and fears and depression and anger and confusion and disappointments. It is the act of submitting your whole self to God and resting in His presence.

Another version of the Psalm reads: "Surrender your anxiety! Be silent and stop your striving and you will see that I am God."

I spent literally hundreds of hours between 2010 and 2011 at that dog park with Ruth. I sat there. I learned to be still. I learned to see God.