It has definitely been a change.
I miss Searcy. I miss how settled I was beginning to feel after so long of not feeling settled. I miss having a “normal” schedule. I miss being able to go to church every Sunday. I miss so many dear friends I had made there. I miss teaching. I miss College church. I miss the cookies. I miss having great places to run with my running buddy. I miss my house. I miss my yard. I miss sitting on my back porch. I miss my coworkers. I miss the traffic. I miss a lot.
But I feel used again. I feel invested in something that is so much greater than myself. I feel my brain churning and turning. I feel my critical thinking being used in full force.
I feel like me again.
But I wanted to do it different this time, do it right. I didn’t want to put myself in another situation to quickly get burned out and get turned off of the work that I truly love to do.
The problem has always been that when I’m in the ICU I love my job but over time I begin to hate my life due to the schedule and various demands of the job. Out of the ICU, I love my life but don’t truly feel used and fulfilled in my job.
So the question, the quandary, has been, how do I do it right?
I work for a company now that appreciates this struggle. They acknowledge the work life balance problems of working nights on a rotating schedule in a job that is 24/7/365 with no respecter of weekends or holidays. They get it.
And because they get it, I’m working for a company that works to provide a work life balance. So 3 nights on, 6 nights off.
I have time to feel “normal”. That is incredibly, indescribably invaluable. I have time to let the stress fall away so I can go back in.
Life isn’t perfect, no job in no place will ever be perfect. But things are good. Things are right.
So, it’s time to get settled again. It’ll come in time.