We found ourselves sitting on the floor of my current rental, playing scrabble, reminiscing on times passed. Times had changed, our friends had married, moved away, had children. We remained as we all had been before, single, but now older.
We talked and laughed and smiled and felt unalone. Talk traveled from the past to the future to the current.
We talked about the course of our lives and how it deviated from the others. Pondering how we had remained as we all had been before while they had moved passed and on.
“It’s like we were all at a train station”, she said. “We were there all waiting to get on the train. And everyone got on the train and moved on. And somehow we missed it. Somehow we missed our train. And I keep waiting for the train to come, so I can jump on and catch up to everyone. But the train doesn’t come. And I’m still at the train station. I’m still waiting for the train.”
There was a lot of truth in what she said. Some one had put words to feelings I’d had and didn’t know how to express.
Years have passed now and I still think on this night, this conversation, that train.
I’m not sure what train I was expecting when I waited with all of my peers at the train station. I suppose I expected marriage and children like most of them. But unbeknownst to me, I found myself getting on a train that headed in a very different direction. Confusion of many sorts has accompanied me on my travels, but I suppose it would have no matter what train I chose.
But the truth is, I did get on a train.
A train that has taken me around the world and back again. A train that has afforded me abundant opportunities and amazing scenes. A train that has introduced me to beautiful souls. A train that has taken me on highs and lows and continued on steadfast.
I have found that there is no station. I still have such a long long way to go. And while this isn’t the train I expected to be on, it is the one I chose.
Life is always what we make of it.
Joy is always where we look for it.
And the truth is, I’m enjoying the ride.