Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Life and Times

It's funny really, when I was in school and had such a need to blog I made the time even though I had little to spare. I thought that when I was working, and found myself with more free time than I ever wanted, that I would blog all the time and yet I rarely find myself doing it. I hold on to so many deep thoughts and concepts and before I know it, time has passed, the thought has matured and left me, the concept has been grasped hold of, and the blog post remains unwritten, vacant, invisible. In some ways this saddens me as blogging has been a way for me to displace so many burdens. Often I wouldn't even directly tell a story, as HIPPA prevents me from my own healing, but I would say things in such a way that I would know, I would remember, and I would release the depth of the rawness associated with the story I had just lived, the life I had just observed, the family I watched. But there are funny stories too, hilarious actually, (well, maybe only truly funny to medical people, as we do have such a morbid sense of humor and acknowledgement of life) and those stories too remain untold.

There are so many things that have happened this past year. So many things I meant to write about.

My recent trip to Chicago for a conference, my first MLB experience while I was there (the White Sox won! the Cubs were out of town), eating a phenomenal lobster and crab dinner, hosted by vendors, who paid for the whole outrageous thing.

I could also tell you about the fact that I’m moving…again. The 6th time in 30 months. I’m tired, excited, irritated, and getting really good at this. I’m moving out of my amazing townhome to a really great apartment. It’ll be an adjustment as I haven’t lived in an apartment in over 7 years and I'm really going to miss my garage and running with Ruthie on the 14th green (our backyard). But I'll be closer to work and the dog park, my commute to church will be shorter, I'm just as close to a Wal-Mart and Target; so overall it'll all work out.

Moving again doesn't do very much to make me feel more settled. I have such a deep craving for roots, as I've written about before (why I bought my condo in Oklahoma, why I've done so many silly unprofitable things the last 30 months). I was talking to a friend last night and she laughed at me, "for someone who sure hates change you sure do move a lot". The irony in what she said was not lost on me. This came after a discussion I had with her about my future plans, i.e. where I'll be a year from now (hopefully westward), but who really knows what these next 12 months hold.

Raleigh has been good to me these past 11 months. I have few complaints. There are definitely a lot of things in my life I needed to get sorted out, to tend to, to prune and nurture, to heal. Raleigh has allowed for a great deal of that.

I'm working a 24 today. The ICU is slow tonight. I can faintly hear the pumps beeping and the monitors alarming from my office. I did some extremely minor "surgery" today (fun bloody stuff). Who knows what this night holds for me.

But one thing I know for sure, I am blessed.

1 comment:

David said...

I absolutely treasure my friendship with you. What a gift you are to this world. Dave