Sometimes, even when you do your best, you just don’t do the best job.
Tonight is night 5 in 6 days. I’m exhausted. I haven’t slept very well the last few days. The pt’s have been really really sick. I’ve had a lot on my mind and I’m just not quite “on”.
I needed to call a service for a pt consult. It’s late. I’m waiting and waiting. The doc finally calls in and I give him report. I can honestly say that it was one of the worst pt reports I have ever given. Here is this doctor at home, responding to a phone call in the middle of the night, and I’m the one he gets to talk to. I don’t start at the beginning, he’s confused, I start over, I’m embarrassed and in the end he says he’ll just see the patient in the morning.
Sometimes I just need to let things go. It wasn’t my best. It’s okay.
I’m still watching the pt. They’re okay. It really is fine.
I suppose even now, revisiting the whole situation I realize how silly it is. Is it even worthy of a blog post; talking about my best not being my best.
Stress haunts us in many ways: worry, anxiety, embarrassment, fear, the desire for perfection.
Let it go.