Moving Forward

I suppose I have been dreading, or maybe grieving, turning 40 for years. Fearing that once it arrived I would be deemed a failure for not having achieved so many of the things I had anticipated. Namely, having children. But it has come and gone and I am doing fine. I have made peace with the things I have not achieved and have embraced the things I have.

Last week, I ventured out with two of my sisters for my 40^th birthday. We took a road trip through Oregon. We explored the city of Portland, ate Moroccan food, ate at Camp 18, toured the Tillamook creamery, sat and watched the sunset over the Pacific ocean, drove the coast, missed the sea lions, went to a disappointing buffet, found the end of the Oregon trail, got lost in Powell’s books, resided on the Salmon river, bought some art, stood in awe of Multnomah falls, shopped at the Goodwill, ate a VooDoo doughnut, drove to the state of Washington, and stopped in at Ikea.

It was a beautiful trip. We drove winding country roads and saw the ocean and the mountains and rivers and streams and brilliant leaves. Beautiful tall trees, blue rocks, stellar jays, We ate ethnic foods, and ice cream, waffles, lots of clam chowder, and a doughnut that was okay. We talked and laughed and rested. We rested. We sat in awe of the beautiful creation that surrounded us everywhere we looked.

I have lived in many different places and climates and landscapes. I have always been so deeply fed by the beauty of this earth and the creation that it is. Sitting outside is often a respite to my soul. Being in Oregon was a feast of beauty that will reside within me for some time and feed my soul for a while. I am not sure how I ended up in the wasteland that is Dallas that boasts significant concrete and limited trees. But even in this wasteland, there is beauty to be found, it just requires intentional looking.

Moving forward, I reflect on the 40 notes to my younger self and I rest in #40. I know that I am loved and I am so very thankful.