Wow, this has been one intense week. Papers and group projects due. The reading. Being awake enough to be attentive in lectures. A very intense test on Wednesday that lasted almost 2 hours long. I have no idea how I did. Half way through my eyes were truly crossed and I had trouble concentrating. It was one of the hardest tests I have ever taken, and I still have 5 more semesters to go.
So even though Thursday starts my weekends I have done nothing all evening but work on a paper that is due on Monday that I don't feel good about at all (sometimes you just can't get it out) and I turned in two homework assignments via e-mail that are due tomorrow and Monday.
Crazy how it never stops. I find myself looking forward to Christmas break. Not so much because it is Christmas, but because I won't have anything due or looming above me that needs to be done. I am only 7 weeks in and already I can't quite remember what it was like to be completely free of external obligations. They said during orientation that week 6-8 would be when we really feel overwhelmed and would begin to question ourselves. Not me, I thought. Yes me, I say.
I have to work tomorrow at my former full time and now extremely part time job. I'm glad for this. On one hand I would love, beyond true description, to sleep in tomorrow and relax. But on the other hand, working helps me refocus, redirect, and remember why I'm doing all this. Seeing coworkers who are still in the trenches everyday, seeing patients who are fighting for their quality of life everyday, and seeing the sights, smelling the smells, all this grounds me - wakes me up. This is a positive thing.