Turning 40: Notes to My Younger Self. #20 Sometimes When You Don’t Have a Stigma About Something, But Everyone Else Has a Stigma About It, Then You Begin to Have a Stigma Because They Do, Not Because You Do.

#20. Sometimes When You Don’t Have a Stigma About Something, But Everyone Else Has a Stigma About It, Then You Begin to Have a Stigma Because They Do, Not Because You Do. 

What will they think? What if they knew? How would they respond? How would they react? What would they say?

Sometimes, when you don't have a stigma about something, but everyone else has a stigma about it, then you begin to have a stigma because they do, not because you do. 

We tend to worry about a lot of things. 

We worry about our perception of various situations. We also worry about the perception of others. 

We worry to the point that we begin to change how we act or what we do or how we respond. 

We worry so much about being judged and labeled and placed in a box, that we do everything to stay out of and away from the box. 

We begin to have a stigma, not because we have a stigma, but actually because we do not. 

Sometimes we are so afraid to be seen for who we are, so we hide behind who we are not. 

We fear authenticity and truth and vulnerability and honesty. We fear sharing our lives and our pain and our hurt. 

We fear so much, that we live so little. 

We live life in hiding. 

My dear young self, one day you will not care anymore about the stigmas.

You will need to fight. Fighting will look like surrender. Surrender will look like asking for help. Help will look like the beautiful support system you have surrounded your self with.

Mental health is just health. While there is a stigma around it, you can not have a stigma about  it. Having a stigma about it, is having pride. And pride will not be something you can afford to have.