#23. Having a Strong Self Confidence is Not the Same Thing
as Having a Strong Self Worth
I am confident.
I am good at my job. I have strong critical thinking
skills. I am smart. People like me. I make good decisions. I am an excellent
public speaker. I am a good dog mom. I am funny. I manage my time well. I have
good people skills. I am organized.
There are a lot of good things about me. I have a strong
self confidence, but knowing I am good at things does not necessarily equate to
believing that I am good, to believing that I have worth.
I know a lot of things intellectually, but knowing with
your head is not the same as believing with your heart. The head and the heart
reside within the same body, but they do not share equal qualities or
characteristics. Knowing and believing are not the same.
Self worth is believing you have worth, believing you
have value, believing that you are more than what you do and achieve.
We tend to focus so much on trying to achieve and do and
work that we think our worth and our value are found in those things. The problem
with that, is that if you take those things away, then you are not left with
any innate worth or value.
But we are worth so much more than what we do. We are
valued just for being, for simply just existing.
I believe we mistake self confidence for self worth. Being
confident and knowing that I am good at a lot of things does not mean that I believe
that I have value.
Developing a strong self confidence can develop out of
the legalistic mindset of doing for the sake of doing and for the sake of honor
and respect. In those instances, the value of doing has no end goal and reaps
little to no worth. It is an empty accumulation of tally marks that result in
minimal value.
Changing that mindset from one of legalism to one of discipline,
doing to honor God instead of to be honored by God, will change the way we view
our self.
Being devoted to God will bring about self worth and
value. In knowing Him, you will believe
that He loves you and cares for you and that you are beloved. There is no
greater worth than to be loved by our Father.
My dear young self, you have worked so hard. You have
gone to school and achieved and accomplished so much in an effort to prove your
worth. In doing so, you developed a strong self confidence, but the way you
went about so much of it was with the wrong mindset. Unfortunately, as you worked
so hard to achieve so much, your motivation was primarily rooted in legalism.
Therefore, when you reached the top of so many different ladders you were
unsure of the value you possessed.
In time, you will learn to refocus. In truth, we are
still learning to refocus. But, I implore you to be patient with your self, to
not give up.
Learning to live a life of discipleship will bring you
the self worth and self value that you desire. So much of that, if not all of
that, will lie within your relationship with God. Working to serve Him will
bring you the self confidence it always has, but working to serve Him will also
bring you the self worth you have always desired.
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