Sunday, September 15, 2019

Turning 40: Notes to My Younger Self. #22 Most People Mean Well, They Just Do Not Always Know How to do Well

#22. Most People Mean Well, They Just Do Not Always Know How to do Well

I believe most people mean well. They want good things for people and wish good things for people and have good intentions.

But, they just do not always know how to do well.

Often it is out of naivety or ignorance.

They say the wrong things and navigate situations in the worst possible way and come across as aloof or dismissive or rude.

People can only do as well as they know how to do.

The hope is that when people know better, they do better.

Often, though, people are truly ignorant of the fact that they do not know better. Therefore, they are not prompted to grow and learn.

When we are faced with situations we do not understand, we are presented with an opportunity for growth. Growth most often comes from challenge, from change, from chaos. We have to be brave and boldly approach the situation with courage and compassion and openness.

Openness is often the key. When you find yourself in a situation with someone and you truly do not understand where they are out of naivety or ignorance, the best way to navigate is by saying you do not understand and that you want to and that you care and then listen. Do not try to give advice or fix their problem, simply listen.

It is through the act of listening that you begin to learn and understand. When you begin to understand then you begin to know and to relate. Then, and only then can you do better.

1 comment:

SuzanM said...

We like to think it is “they” who need to do better. Often it is “me” who needs to do better.